Forgiveness

The two difficult aspects of entitlement that hold back forgiveness are the sense of having been wronged or robbed and the demeaning or lessening of who I am, i.e., my identity. 

Both could have been real, valid, deeply painful experiences, so much so that they will bear a profound harvest of evil in our lives should we choose to file them away (denial) or, worse, nurture the desire for justice and fairness. 

One might ask, “Why do you start a blog in such a confrontational sense?” And the reason is that most of us have heard this subject preached over and over again from different perspectives. 

The philosophical and fundamental truth concerning this issue in your lives is your ability to rule and reign in your creation. First and foremost, you are a king of the earth, and your free will is inherently bestowed upon you at birth. That included the willingness to forgive and to let go of all people and circumstances that cost you, that caused you loss, people who have robbed you of what inherently belonged to you. On every level – spiritually, emotionally, physically, materially, financially. Whether it is abuse, oppression, deception, intimidation, control, avoidance, neglect, or abandonment, to name but a few.

And the scars of such insults and hurts, even regrets, can haunt us consciously or manifest unconsciously. We can even become jealous and, worse, envious of those who did not have to go through what we did. And dormant pain and a torn identity will inevitably manifest when one is put under great strain or pressure, or suffers intense trials and tribulations.

So, when Jesus teaches us to forgive in Matthew 18:21-35, we initially read, “Then Peter came up and said to him, ‘Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? ‘As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants …’ [And it ends with] ‘So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.’” 

Also regard this in the light of Mark 11:24-25, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

Most Christians accept the principle of “the need to forgive”. However, in practice, we still see too many Christians in pain because of these traumas and wrongdoings in their lives. 

There was a time when the Church tried to enable the process by saying, “Even if you are struggling to forgive, just declare your willingness to do so to the Lord.” Our puny efforts do not limit the Lord, and I am sure there are those whom the Lord met more than halfway. But as an issue exposed in absolute truth, it will not hold up as a corporate guideline. 

Jesus supplied the process perfectly. Would you like to live a life free of owing God anything, still empowered (as the servant was), yet able to release the debts still owed to Him?

The saying remains, unforgiveness is like taking poison, believing it will kill the one who is indebted to you. Irony is, as we know, when you do not forgive a brother or sister in Christ, how is that going to pan out for you in the eternal sense now? Unforgiveness is part of the process Paul talks about to the Galatians, and those who practice holding on to unforgiveness will not inherit the kingdom of God, and that refers to “now”. 

It is therefore imperative (a must) that we confront our own debt in the face of eternal judgment. We will all stand before the judgment seat of Christ (God), and we will most certainly have to give an account of what we have done in our bodies, both good and evil. Salvation does not guarantee a mighty reward in Christ; Paul taught this in 1 Corinthians 3:15: “If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.” And what lies beyond for such a person? Consider it: if your prayers are hindered and/or disregarded because there is still unforgiveness in your heart, why would everything be hunky-dory after the Day of the Lord?

And then Jesus made it clear, in your daily worship, when you are aware of a pressing issue with someone, leave your sacrifice there at the altar, i.e., the place where you come into the Presence of God. If at all possible, as Holy Spirit leads, go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. This is not always possible in the natural world. Sometimes those who have caused you harm or suffering need to be released, verbally, from your heart, with an understanding of the cost to yourself if you don’t—but also understanding the truth that when you stop passively playing God, you allow the Holy Spirit the opportunity to start operating in their lives.

So how do you do it? Remember from whence you have fallen! Get back into the “first love” and realize that you were released from a multitude of sin by Jesus (remember the servant was shown grace by his Master first), then appreciate the full impact of such a release in the eternal sense. Verbally choose to release every person that has wronged you into Jesus’ hands, expunge the book you kept, and hand it over to Him. It might help at times to gain God’s perspective on how He sees you or to understand where He was when it seemed that you were abandoned in your suffering. Ask Jesus to forgive you for harboring unforgiveness and actively receive the substance of His forgiveness, and then break the agreement with the enemy and forbid them from trying to reinforce the old pattern in your life. 

Not forgiving is not a Christian option, but understanding grace and mercy to their full extent makes the process possible. And once you’ve done it with sincerity, you will most certainly say, “Why have I not done this a long time ago?” 

In closing, one of the greatest barriers to forgiveness is the feeling that someone has deeply hurt us or taken something precious from us. Sometimes the pain goes even deeper, leaving us feeling less valued, less secure, or even questioning who we are.

These wounds are often very real and can cut deeply. God never asks us to pretend they didn't happen. But when we hide our pain or cling tightly to the hope that life will one day feel completely fair, those wounds can quietly take root in our hearts and continue to shape our lives. The Lord gently invites us to bring our hurt into His presence, where His love can heal what has been broken, and His grace can lead us toward the freedom that forgiveness brings. 

Blessings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Ben

Our thanks to Ben for this month’s Blog contribution

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